Angela Merkel struggles to put on a doctoral hood. I feel you, Angela!
"Hexanitro? Say what? I'd call for all the chemists who've ever worked with a hexanitro compound to raise their hands, but that might be assuming too much about the limb-to-chemist ratio."
"Oakland police officer Ruten pets a kitten left behind by Occupy Oakland protestors." Yahoo impersonates the Onion: Protestors hate kittens! How like them!